we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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