I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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