fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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