Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
