We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
