so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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