somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
