My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Help. Why am I so naked?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize