I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
