Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize