Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
