What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
