I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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