Its about making memories worth repressing
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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