the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
