How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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