Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize