Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
