If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
