That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
