I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize