she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
