i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
