I'm lost and stupid without you.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
