I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize