Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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