I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
