dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
