don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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