I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I need a burrito and a hug.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
