there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
