why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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