I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My pussy is not your playground.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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