I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
