it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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