Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I enjoy the company of your penis
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
