I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just cut my nipple shaving
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
