Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
