I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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