Don't you send me to vm
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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