You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize