He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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