I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
