i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
