Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She bit a glass in half.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
