I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
