i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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