I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
