hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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