i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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