don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize