He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
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