making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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