New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
did i walk over a car last night?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
