How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
