is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
