I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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