my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize