The maid of honor just puked.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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