hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
