Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
