tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
